Flashback: 08

In honor of the new year, I've decided to do a flashback sort of thing and post so far unpublished pieces from various times. Here is something from January 16th, 2008:

I close my eyes. All I see is darkness as I release your hand and fall. I do not know for certain what is there to catch me, if anything. You held me up; now I fall into uncertainty. I could once see a path of light ahead of me. Once, a tunnel of colored glows and inviting sounds leading me to an end. The room went cold and the lights faded to a series of hazy and impossible shadows. I knew I could turn back around, turn back to you, and the light would return. Dare I? Dare I look back? Dare I explore the darkness ahead? The fear of unknown ends is alluring, calling to me through the thick obscurity. Do I heed the call or return to the hand that fed? A human is built from half bullshit, lies, tears, and the beginnings of death. A quarter is a light and certain happiness; neon lights and sparkling stars. The last quarter is darkness, mystery, enigmas, and suspense; vampires, bats, graves, and more death. Do I venture into the cold darkness, possibly alone, or do I turn back to you? I run farther and farther ahead, afraid to look back. I stop, afraid to go too far. If I run any farther, trying to avoid looking back at that which will surely stop my heart and still my soul will I ever be able to turn back? Will I want to? Do you even want me to anymore? Running forward is all that stops me breaking down. I’ve stopped thinking of the hand, the lights, and it is all that keeps me upright in my mind; in reality I may be inside out for all I know. I simply ignore it and keep my mind too occupied to think. I overload everything so that you are pushed to the back. What happens when I stop to see my reflection and drink from a clear river; what happens when I step back to see the water cupped in my thirsting hands turn to filth and mire? Will the shadowy hand clasp my shoulder, bringing me to tears? Will I run back and forget which way is back?