Fear and Regret

I love this new world
Yet I fear it
The grass is rarely greener on the other side
It's just a different hue
When the sun hits it just right
And you wish something was better than this
Than where and who you are now
I traded my problems and the monotony
My friends and my world
To take an impulsive leap
To shake things up
To maintain that reckless spontaneity
Once synonymous with my name

Now I am lost here
In the new world I fear
Where every street comes with a story
A cautionary tale and a warning
It was once clean and empty
Mundane and boring and cut off from the city
It wanted adventure just as I did
And regrets its passionate wishes
And regrets the expansion and advancement
And the consequential degeneration and pain
Now it doesn't flinch
At the sound of a semi automatic being unloaded
At a handgun pointed at the turned back of an innocent woman
At a bullet to the back of the head
At blood filling the once quiet streets
At an undefined war pushing onward
A small town that has become desensitized
Unsafe and unsavory
As the trails go unused by anyone with good intent
As certain streets are avoided
As the small town is slowly infected and taken over

I thought this change was an exciting difference I needed
I was hard going from city life to such a small nowhere town
Now it is even harder to adapt
To a world where every corner has a tragic story
The nighttime news never has a dull moment
Where I flinch as I hear a semi automatic
Being unloaded at the corner near home
Where death and fear is all around
And I better have fear so I don't end up dead
I had hoped the grass was greener
The bad has yet to outweigh the good
But we will see