LA Affair

Photo by Aaron McMullen

Dearest LA,

I miss the taste of your kiss. I've almost forgotten. Your dark, starry embrace feels years and miles away. I mourn for you. I weep for you in torn fishnets with deep red lips curved downward in an endless frown. I tug at the hair that still shows signs of years of dye and irons while my tears flood my beauty. I sob longingly for you in the icy shower as I clean away the remnants of my soul. I have died without you, and this is but my empty shell.

We could not be together until I was able to stand on my own two feet, but my struggle for independence led me down a road that tore me away from you. You are what they call belonging. You are security and happiness and love. You are the blanket from my childhood and the knife from my time of helplessness. You are all that haunts me, all that drives me, and all that inspires me.

My shattered heart lies behind me, stretched across this city like a trail of breadcrumbs. She is always off with someone else. I'm not enough and I'll never be enough. She'll never settle for me. He has almost forgotten completely how to love me. He doesn't love me like he used to, and I fear he never will again, because I am just one girl and not enough to satiate cravings. She wants to end her life no matter how much I love her. When she cuts into her skin, it cuts into my heart. I'm not enough to stop her. I'm never enough for anyone but you.

You shelter broken hearts in your arms. It's not your fault. You aren't cruel. It just so happens lives fall apart in your presence because this is where dreams are set free. It makes you a rose. You are beautiful, but so painful. You are a black widow, lovely but lethal. I love seeing all that you create and all you destroy. It is why I love you.

My lust for you burns eternally. I crave you. I need you. I want you more than life itself. I can almost feel you. I can taste you in my mouth along with the blood from anxious biting of lips. You are my beautiful mistress. You are the most beautiful thing to grace this Earth, and I will love you forever. I'm dying without you. I need to see you. Please, let our torrid love affair begin again. I will come to you, my love, my city of angels. Wait for me.