Guilt

Why should I feel something so disgusting when it is not warranted? I woke up and went on with my day. I was, as everyone else said, glowing. No matter what the day had in store, the holder of my heart could still make me smile.

I sat down to work and shut out the world. I shut down. I stopped loving him and the happiness in my heart was replaced with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was the sort of feeling you get just before you break up with a person. It was the sort of feeling you get just after you accidentally tell your mother you hate her. It was the sort of feeling you get when you lie. Why am I feeling this grotesque and heavy guilt?

I can't eat. I feel like I'm going to vomit. My hands are shaking and my legs are weak. My throat is dry and my fingers are numb. I feel like my body is slowly giving up. The guilt is eating away at my soul. Why? I have done nothing wrong.

Is it because he trusted me with the deepest and darkest of his secrets and yet I am so afraid to trust him and so afraid he won't trust me?