Strawberry Kisses

I couldn't make out his face in the cold darkness of the night. Was my hair okay? Was I wearing something he would like? Did I have too much makeup on? Was I standing straight enough? I hadn't eaten all day, so I should have just gone home and made dinner. I hadn't been sleeping well, so I should have just gone to bed. I wanted to turn around and run back to safety. I wanted to call it all off until he spoke my name.

His rich voice washed over my thoughts like a wave of comfort and happiness. I drank up every last word until I was intoxicated. My legs were trembling. My heart was racing. Why was I so nervous?

We drove until we were lost. On the way, we talked about everything because we were so comfortable together. We talked about all the things you're told never to bring up on a date. Even if we didn't recognize the streets names, we soon grew to recognize each others' voices and mannerisms.

When we stumbled upon a small lake, I gasped. He immediately pulled over, knowing me all too well already. We walked, with a couple of feet separating us, out to a bench along the edge of the lake and sat down. The night air was cold, but I was so happy to be there I didn't mind at all.

We stared out across the water. At least, I assumed it was the water. I was so dizzy, nauseous, and car sick from no sleep and no food that I couldn't tell up from down. He asked why I'd become quiet. I didn't want him to worry and I didn't want to be embarrassed. I pretended I was just being shy.

The water was extremely placid. I stood and looked for a rock to throw but immediately stopped when I really noticed the water for the first time. The water met with the sky so seamlessly. I couldn't tell where the night sky ended and the lake began. I told him, and he fell in awe as well. The dark reflection devoured our depth perception and the ground seemed to open up into a immense pit containing a whole other world. I'd never felt so serene and alive.

I moved closer to him. Innocent flirting turned to a kiss, which of course turned into many kisses. His full lips made mine feel complete. We held each other and kissed passionately for hours. North Lake was ours and we would somehow find it again someday. This night and this lake marked the birth of my true happiness. I'd never felt this way before.

Humans cannot comprehend a whole new color beyond what we know, only shades of the colors we currently understand. Somehow, his lips made me see ultraviolet and revealed all of the universe's secrets to me. Each touch made me feel like I was dying and being reborn again. Everything made sense and nothing but him mattered. Those moments were the greatest moments of my whole life thus far.

After some more wandering, we stopped to talk. We began kissing passionately again until he stopped to tell me his deepest, darkest secret. He warned me I could run away. He was very understanding and in that one moment he was more loving and caring toward me than anyone had ever been my entire life. He told me, but I would not run. I cried instead. I cried like an idiot. I cried because I did not want the secret to take him from me, but he knew now that the secret could never tear me away from him.

I was honored to know his secrets. I was honored just to have his attention. The heaviest of words loomed in my mind as I fought every urge to blurt out my feelings. I lived a lifetime with him in that one night and knew the meaning of life. I felt complete and entirely happy for the first time.

I never wanted to say goodbye. I hope he calls me tomorrow. I hope I see him again someday. I long for his touch. I long for his strawberry kisses. I long for him.