I Hate This.

I hate it here. I'm isolated and uncomfortable and alone and a shut in. I hate being off my medication. I hate having to tell people I am not coming. I hated having to break my grandma's heart. I hate breaking all the promises I made to myself. I hate being cooped up without anyone. I hate the distance between Mikey and I despite living in the same house. I love his family, but we definitely don't see eye to eye on parenting. Maybe things would be easier if they'd let me raise my dog as I will. They seem to enjoy the results. I hate feeling helpless. I hate feeling depressed. I hate thinking I have nothing to lose and then losing more. I hate being alone and so far from home. I hate all of this so much.