The silences are unbearable. I clench my jaw too tight and bite my nails down farther than I should. Hours pass and I'm left to wait alone with only my paranoia to keep me company. What could be going on? A million questions flood my mind as I get suspicious, afraid, and then a sickeningly guilt overtakes me for every feeling anything but gratitude. When trust, security, stability, and every other reassurance is absent, I stand here running on blind hope and faith alone.
I know this will all fade away when I hear his voice. All of this anxiety will be gone for a while. Until then, I'll be tearing myself apart from the inside out.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
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