Contemplation

my moms begging me to stay
she wants to help me
she feels responsible and she wants to understand
which is when the doubt set in
so
i cant decide what to do now
i can go off and deal with all of this on my own in his parents' house
under their rules
cant be bringing friends over
or staying up late
you know its just...different. i have to be awkwardly respectful and shy
i get to spend my days working hard to impress them
and spend my nights hiding the fact that even girls use the restroom
my family is very social and liberal with most things
my mom was just a bit cruel to me at times
and i never let go of that
now that i'm feeling better
and the bad feelings and memories are going away
she seems pretty cool
his parents are very antisocial and planned
very
scheduled and
stable and
routine and predictable
my family is...
determined and spontaneous and unconstrained. theyre more concerned with the future than the present.
its just...hard
i see now that my mom would do anything for me
i dont know what to do...